Demigod round-up
by Matthew Kaiser
Summary: The satyrs are on strike. And demigod recruitment is at a standstill. So naturally Zeus turns to his whipping boy.


It was a most particularly relaxing day in New-York. Apollo must`ve been in a good mood, because the sun was warm and comforting. Percy and Grover were enjoying the day, a day filled with fishing (and putting them back), swimming and hitting up the arcades. So you know something has to go wrong. It all happened when Percy and Grover stopped for lunch.

"So, how are things going with Juniper?" Percy asked.

"Oh fabulous." Grover replied. "The job on the other hand...it kind of sucks. I`ve had to deal with complaints and cyclops attacks, I knew being a lord of the wild was a stupid job."

"Could be worse." Percy said. "You could be Dionysus."

Grover ducked under the table. Half expecting a grape-vine monster to show up or for Percy to get drunk lust. Nothing happened, guess Dionysus was to busy playing card games. Grover stood up and took a rather shaky seat.

"Damn it Percy! You know you can`t go around saying things like that." Grover said panting.

Percy just laughed it off and waved his hand.

"I`m sure the gods have nothing better to do than kill us." Percy said.

As Percy laughed this statement off a loud thunder-crack boomed outside. Suddenly two large eagle-cat like creatures swooped down and picked Percy and Grover up. As the creatures flew through the darkening sky, Grover cursed furiously at Percy for getting them into this mess. The gryphons headed to Mt. Olympus, Percy held his breath as the animals dropped them in front of Zeus` palace.

"Oh god, what did Ares do this time?" Percy asked.

"Look man, if this is our last day," Grover said crying. "I`d just like to say I love...Artemis man."

Percy gave Grover a curious look before the golden doors opened themselves. Percy and Grover trekked nervously to the throne room, the man Zeus himself was sitting on his platinum throne, along with a ten foot Hermes, scrolling through his i-pad.

"Well don`t just stand over there, get in here." Zeus commanded.

"Um...lord." Percy said. "I would just like to say, whatever it is...it was Ares!"

"Relax cousin, it`s nothing like that. We`re here to give you a job." Hermes said.

Zeus clapped his hands and two stone guest thrones popped up underneath Grover and Percy. Zeus and Hermes stood up and shrunk to the size of normal humans.

"The fact is," Zeus started. "I`m having some problems. The satyrs are well...there on strike."

Percy and Grover were taken back by that. Neither of them were aware that the satyrs had not only the gall, but the right to just not work. Though it did explain the angry lines of goat-men marching about outside.

"So let me get this straight the satyrs just...quit?" Percy asked.

"No!" Zeus said. "What happened was those stupid goats got mad about the trivial things. Like health-care, better wages, and days off."

"But lord Zeus...we don`t have any of those things." Grover said. "We do everything for free."

Zeus gave Grover one of those "I`m going to fill you with lightning," type of looks. Hermes stepped in before his father`s anger could explode.

"Look guys, we can handle the strike." Hermes said. "But there is an even more important issue at hand. Without the satyrs we have no way of collecting half-bloods and well..."

Hermes stopped talking and put his hands together. He had one of those "put two and two together" smiles on his face. Percy and Grover`s eyes went wide and their faces turned red. The boys knew where this was headed and they didn`t like it.

"Um...we`re flattered and all." Percy said.

"But we are in no way qualified for this job." Grover finished.

Hermes smile melted away as Zeus pushed him aside.

"Listen children," Zeus said in his least threatening voice. "I don`t care about you little spawns. But because of you!"

Zeus pointed his finger at Percy, who shrank into his guest throne.

"The other gods insist upon keeping up their end of the bargain and here we are. Now, get out there and get some demigods."

And with that Zeus disappeared in a flash of blue and white lightning. The word doom imprinted on the floor in perfectly bold white letters. As Percy and Grover struggled to regain their bearings, Hermes cleared his throat and clapped his hands. Two nymphs walked in, struggling under the weight of paper stacks they were carrying. After dropping the stacks off, Hermes thanked the girls as they fainted.

"Please tell me those aren`t the names of every god`s child." Percy said, nervously.

Hermes smiled brightly not answering his question. Percy`s face fell into his hands as Grover began rummaging through the stacks of paper.

"Any particular reason, for these being multi-colored?" Grover asked.

"Ah yes." Hermes said. "The red ones belong to Ares, the pink ones Aphrodite, those white ones belong to me, green Demeter, grey Athena, brown Hephaestus and the gold ones belong to Apollo."

"What about the minor gods?" Percy asked.

"No one has time for them." Hermes said.

"So glad to see the other part of the deal being followed through on." Percy muttered.

Hermes smiled and fluttered away as Percy and Grover rifled through the massive paper stacks.

"Dude, how are we going to find all these kids?" Percy asked. "I`m Aphrodite and Ares alone are going to take a few years."

"Are you kidding me?" Grover said. "Check out Apollo`s list."

Grover started to unravel Apollo`s list, and the golden paper unravelled all the way out of the throne room and thumped against the door.

"This figures," Percy said. "The god`s can`t keep their legs closed and someone else has to clean up. It just so happens to be me...and to a lesser extent you.

"I feel so wanted, thank you." Grover muttered.

"Well lets head back to camp half-blood and sort out how we`re going to do this."

And with that the boys gathered up the paper-work, waddled out the door and snuck pass the satyr mobs chanting "hell no! we wont go!".


End file.
